Cortland Standard .net

By TYRONE L. HEPPARD
Staff Reporter
theppard@cortlandstandardnews.net.
Spending fewer than five minutes on the Internet will yield dozens of pages of statistics and information about the physical, psychological, short-term and long-term effects of bullying.
But statistics tend to reduce real-world experiences to nothing but a number. This is why students and adults in Cortland have opened up about their experiences with bullying, how they try to reduce it and what others can do to help.
Twin sisters Amber and Ashley Benjamin, 14, and Makenzie Hyde, 14, were spending time at the Cortland Youth Center Thursday afternoon, saying they had all been victims of bullying.
“It’s there once in a while,” Hyde said. “(Bullying) is not really a huge problem ... but when it’s there, it’s bad.”
With the advent of social media websites the girls said online, or “cyber-bullying,” is more common than one would expect and can be a different type of cruel.
“When I was cyber-bullied, (the person) told me to go kill myself,” Amber Benjamin said.
“I’ve been cyber-bullied like three times,” Ashley added. “They say hurtful things and I cried. It sucks.”
The girls said it takes a lot for someone to build up enough courage to speak up if they are getting bullied. They said they feel when kids ask for help, adults listen, but not enough is being done.
“My friend right now is in the middle of being bullied by a group of girls,” Hyde said. “She’s talked to counselors ... and they’ve talked to them (the group) but it still goes on. I feel like there’s bullying happening right in front of adults and it goes right over their heads.”
Group provides help
Melissa Arthur, the school psychologist at Parker Elementary School, said she agrees it is difficult for some people to stand up for themselves, which is why the Peaceful Panthers, the school’s anti-bullying group, is teaching them how.
Arthur and other faculty work with the students to talk about what bullying is, what to do if it happens and how to be positive role models in their communities.
The best part is, Arthur said, this is something the students ask to be a part of.
“The kids know what Peaceful Panthers are,” Arthur said. “Having it come from the kids themselves is pretty powerful. That’s one of those skills you learn as you get older ..., that confidence and that sense of empowerment. Those are all important skills. Not just when it comes to bullying, but in life.”
One such student is 10-year-old Khia Wood, who won a poster design contest and had her artwork printed onto shirts nearly everyone in the school wore proudly May 15.
Wood said both in school and out of school, she notices bullying and she wanted to do something to stop it.
“People think they have the power to do it, but it’s not OK,” Wood said. “Maybe if they see the people wearing the T-shirt … they’ll stop the bullying.”
Matt Marcey, Lorie Breed and Erica Danega all work at the Cortland Youth Center with students on a regular basis.
They all say they think bullying is harder to find outside of school because parents are getting involved, the kids are more confident but most importantly, everyone seems to respect each other.
“I feel like people are really starting to take notice that this (bullying) is something we can’t just brush under the rug,” Breed said. “I think even the kids accept it’s not fun, it’s not funny. It’s pretty serious stuff. Kids are losing their lives because of it.”
Having worked at the youth center since 1998, Marcey said he has noticed some positive changes as well.
“In the last three or four years ... I’ve seen a lot more parent involvement than I used to,” Marcey said. “It just seems like there’s more moms calling, more moms letting us know they’ve discovered something going on with their kid. They really try to be staying on top of being involved with what their kids are doing.”
Danega said she and the other youth services advisors encourage children to speak up and speak out about bullying, but added adults can be proactive, too.
“I think a lot of times we assume prying might offend the kids or might make them quiet,” Danega said. “But it will also give them the signal that we care. It doesn’t hurt ... whether you’re a parent or just a friend, to just check in on how things are going. Usually, that gets a conversation started.”