May 27, 2015
Foster parents - loving and letting go of someone else's child
Joe McIntyre/staff photographer
Long-time foster parents Jack Cummings and his wife Ramona sit with their two kids Katie, 6, and Andrew, 5, Tuesday in their home in Fabius.
FABIUS — Ramona and Jack Cummings have had five foster care children since they married in 2008, leading to the adoption of their now 5-year-old son, Andrew Cummings.
“My goal from childhood was always to adopt,” Ramona Cummings said, watching Andrew perform magic tricks and jump around their living room.
The Cummingses have had Andrew Cummings since birth when he was placed into the foster care program, later adopting him after the parents surrendered their parental rights. The Cummingses had Andrew for almost three years before officially making him a part of the family. They are in the foster care program in Cortland County since Ramona Cummings lived there before moving to Fabius.
To be in the Cortland County foster care program, a foster home does not have to be in the county but can be in the general area, such as DeRuyter, Dryden and Groton.
Andrew Cummings’ older sister was the Cummings’ first foster care child and also their first experience in giving a child back to the biological family.
“It was heartbreaking to give her up,” Ramona Cummings, 35, said, sitting on the couch in their home.
The foster care program in Cortland County has 66 children as of this month, according to Kristen Monroe, commissioner of the Department of Social Services.
Some children have behavior needs that require them to be in group homes or other residential treatment centers that are outside the Cortland County area.
Monroe said there are 45 foster homes available in the county but more homes are always needed to ensure the right fit for each child. There is still a lack of foster homes in Cortland County to take children, she said.
“We try to keep kids in their home school districts,” Monroe said, adding it is also hard to find homes that are equipped to take three or four siblings.
When potential foster parents apply, Monroe said the most important thing to stress about the program is that it is not an adoption agency.
“We always work to reunite children with the parents,” Monroe said.
Monroe spoke highly of the Cummings family and their dedication to the children.
Allison Veintimilla, who is a foster care supervisor for the department, also stressed the ultimate goal of the foster care program is to reunite a child with the biological parent quickly.
In 2013, the average length of stay with a foster care family was one year . Currently, the length of stay for a child is 200 days.
Ramona Cummings decided to become a foster parent after living in Romania and working with a Christian nonprofit group called Children in the Son, taking care of abandoned children in the hospitals. The passion she found in Romania led to directing her own nonprofit organization called Project Hope for the Children, which cares for needy and abandoned children in Romania. The organization provides supplies like diapers, wipes and lotion to babies in hospitals.
Cummings, who is currently fostering a 6-month-old girl, said she loves working with babies and loves to be a part of the development of children when they are so young.
The Cummings’ 6-year-old biological daughter, Katie Cummings, said she liked having different brothers and sisters.
“Because they’re cute and because they’re chunky,” Cummings said, adding she prefers having sisters in the house to play with.
Jack Cummings, 53, said coming into Ramona Cummings’ world needed some adjusting to, but the most important lesson he learned from fostering children is the fact they are only theirs temporarily.
“Love the kids like they’re yours and give them up like they’re not,” Jack Cummings, a mechanical engineer for Syracuse-based Cryomech, said.
“It’s hard,” Ramona Cummings said. “You get attached to a lot of them.”
However, Cummings said her favorite part about being a foster parent is working with the birth parents to reunite them with their child and seeing the parents’ willingness to get their child back in their home.
“I think we need to learn with each situation and every situation with each family is different,” Cummings said. “(You have to) be respectful of the parents’ position as parents.”
Cummings said she keeps the relationship strong by texting a picture of the child every day.
Monroe said being a foster parent is a tough job because sometimes people do not remember the ultimate goal of the program.
“To me, a lot of people need to understand the reality of what that can feel like and the emotional pain it’s going to potentially cause,” Monroe said.
Veintimilla added it takes an emotionally strong person to become a foster parent parent because of the unknown times a child can be given back to the birth parents.
Veintimilla said the biggest misconceptions about foster care involve the fact that foster parents are expected to love someone else’s child like their own and also work with the birth families.
“I think a lot of people don’t see that partnership with the agency and the birth family,” Veintimilla said. “It’s not just about taking care of a child, there’s so much more and ... that is overlooked a lot.”
Although the Cummings’ foster children are no longer in their home, Ramona Cummings said she still celebrates her foster children’s birthdays, inviting the families over to celebrate as one, happy family.
“We really have the best foster parent experience,” Cummings said.
More information on the foster care program in Cortland County can be found by calling 607-753-5347. More information on Ramona Cummings’ organization can be found at www.projecthopeforthechildren.blogspot.com.
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